The ride home from the stable had me reflecting on how much I missed being able to ride and interact with horses. I realized it was the one part of my life that came in and out like the tide. So many times, horses along with an opportunity to ride appeared out of nowhere but never stayed long enough for me to ground into. Why was that I wondered.
Scarcity is sneaky. Didn’t I believe I was worthy of having and keeping a horse in my life?
Just as quickly as I entered that beautiful place in my mind where everything horses lived, that place was also showing me where healing was still needed. I was deep in this new awareness when, suddenly through the magic of lost thoughts, we were back at the house and talk of what to eat for dinner was bringing me back to the present moment. I’d leave that new awareness to be delt with at a more appropriate time and enjoy what was transpiring through everyone’s favorite topic… “food”! I saw that this family is no different here in this land far far away.
Another sense of the familiar making me feel more at home.
The final decision was a food delivery service related to DoorDash, since the children wanted something different than we did. So, with the order placed we got ourselves a cuppa, which is tea, and sat back finding ourselves in conversation sharing deeper bits and pieces of ourselves. They were asking me what I thought of England so far. Was it the picture I had in my head before arriving? I must admit that it was more! I’ve always felt connected, at different times in my life England would show up through the job I held at National Westminster Bank or Barclays Bank or favorite books read. There was always a strong connection which now seemed to deepen by the minute. It was nice to have this time with them. This is a version I would not get to see if we only connected through Zoom.
This was a glimpse into their life, and it was unfolding in all the ways life normally unfolded. There were decisions to make, laundry to wash, dogs to feed, children to taxi to school and oh how the list can go on. It’s not the type of things I thought about when I thought about these people I only knew through the lens of Zoom. Zoom made them smaller than they were, I realize now it does that for everyone. We come together to explore a problem, which needs us to step outside so we can find the solution. During that time, it’s all about focus to get results for the purpose of healing, not idle chit chat about the newly formed rainbow in the sky or the way the stars look at night.
I don’t recall seeing the night sky and stars while on my trip. The atmosphere is mostly overcast with rain more than not. I still loved it, all of it touched my heart deeply.
It was time to retire for the night. There was a chill in the air on this night, I was happy to be in my cozy room that felt like being in a luxury hotel. For a minute I thought about asking them to adopt me, Ha! Then I wouldn’t have to think about where to live.
No way Maria, I thought, stop that right now.
I am not thinking about the pending move. Talk about escapism! Of course, I laughed because this is my brain. It’s like two of us living in the same body. One is the ego edging me on to my doom and the other my voice of reason talking me out of the hole I just spiraled down. This is normal for me; I’ll have the thought and laugh at my ego at play. I like to recognize these funny little moments so I can heal the fear that’s masked behind it. Fear that it might not work out and I might not be ok when I get back home.
I gently reminded myself I was ok, everything was always working out for me and with that I suddenly remembered there would be a lovely treat to look forward to upon waking up, my new favorite cup of coffee that felt like I step into a coffee shop with a skilled barista knowing just how I like it. Life was better than it had ever been right in this moment and that’s what I need to focus on.
The decisions, packing and stress can wait. I’ll stay here in this moment feeling the feels of being fussed over.
I was becoming a good receiver!
The next morning, I woke up and saw the rain had finally cleared. The decision was made, it was time to embark on our trip, Stonehenge was going to be our first destination. We packed, clothes, boots, trainers (sneakers), jumpers (sweaters), snacks and bags loaded into the “boot” (trunk), and off we went—my kindred soul family and I, coffee in hand, we were on our way! I was feeling incredibly happy. I love adventures, especially car rides through the beautiful countryside so I can take in the scenery. It did not disappoint. Each moment of this adventure seemed to be taking me further away from the challenges waiting for me back home. I was letting go so I could receive.
In that moment: I realized “this is where I belong”.
As we pulled away from the house it suddenly hit me that I was going to see Stonehenge! I dreamt about a trip there my whole life. It felt like all the magic I’d ever know or felt in any way would now, in the strongest way possible, rise to meet me.
My goodness… It’s getting real now!!
We headed out on to the motorway. That makes so much more sense to me than highway does. It’s one of those moments you realize the importance of words and how they can deepen the experience we have in life or make it more meaningless.
As we drove through the beautiful countryside, I imagined myself living there in all its magic. The streets were quaint and charming but extremely narrow in some areas—so narrow that if two cars were coming toward each other, one would need to pull over to allow the other to pass. My hosts told me this was a courtesy each driver followed; otherwise, there would be a high rate of accidents. Not only did I not see any accidents while I was there, but I also never heard any sirens. I found the culture quite fascinating, as everyone seemed to have a bit more respect for each other’s well-being, especially while driving. It seemed essential; otherwise, you’d be looking at an accident around every corner.
What surprised me most was the amount of open land, which usually had sheep grazing on it. This was the norm just about everywhere we went. The sheep made sense, since their climate calls for cozy wool jumpers due to the cooler temperatures. I love a well-made sweater in the winter. The sheep added to the coziness and charm of the country. I can’t remember the last time I saw sheep in a pasture back home. It was mostly cows and horses.
Our destination of Stonehenge was about two hours away. As we drove, I noticed the landscape was becoming more rural. Everywhere I looked all I could see was green grass and sheep grazing on it. I was already feeling magical. I was looking forward to whatever I was going to experience on this trip.
Then without warning in the far distance, I saw something! It looked like giant stones set on their end sticking up out of the ground. Far away they still looked small, a circle of sorts, looking like I could roll a marble and knock them over. Was this it?
Are we there yet?
My excitement was building. It felt very surreal to be in the presence of these ancient stones on this ancient ground but before I could step out of the car and get my feels on, we had to park! Oh yeah, that! In a huge lot we found a spot, locked up the car and made our way to the ticket booth. While my hosts were arranging for tickets, I was looking around the little shop. Cute little souvenir chachka’s all over and unlike my former self it didn’t interest me. I was there to collect my experiences, energy exchange and whatever else the land wanted to offer me. My hosts insisted I receive a hemp tote bag with a picture of Stonehenge printed on it along with a beautiful book on the ruins. It was very generous of them. I was all too happy to be a good receiver!
We stepped into the info center which tells you all about the stones and the history of the land plus other relics and artifacts that were native to that area. There was so much interesting information to read through before visiting the stones. I made my way around to each station; something stopped me.
The Moon.
I learned that I was visiting Stonehenge was during a rare astronomical event known as a major lunar standstill, something that occurs approximately every 18.6 years. Researchers were studying whether some of the stones may have connections to the Moon’s most extreme rising and setting positions at the time it formed.
Of all the years I could have come here, I was standing at Stonehenge during this lunar phase.
As a Cancerian who had spent much of my life paying attention to the rhythms of the new and full moons, I couldn’t help but smile.
Of course.
I had questions.
Lots of them.
But first, I needed to meet the stones.